Discovering Where You Are

More and more women are taking responsibility for learning about and investing their money, although many of us are still what I call “money avoiders.” Money avoiders are afraid to make a mistake, feeling under-confident about investing and money management and affected by old self-limiting beliefs. Only when we challenge beliefs such as “Money is too complicated for me to understand” can we be truly free to enjoy mastering money and taking charge of it in a way that facilitates our long-term goals.

You Are Here

Like a map in a museum or a subway, we each need to find the “You Are Here” dot on our personal financial road. Once we find it, we can put our finger on where we want to go and move in that direction. If you don’t know where you are financially, you are lost-and being lost is stressful. Knowing the truth about your financial situation is better than not knowing, because once it is captured it can be contained. Knowing the truth keeps your imagination from making things worse than they actually are Without exception, clients who have been afraid to look at where they really are were relieved once they did it.

Money Patterns

We are where we are because patterns in our lives have brought us here. Patterns are sets of repeated choices we make based on beliefs we hold. Those beliefs are rooted in truths we have formed from what we have seen and experienced.

Patterns grow out of what we believe. Martha Johnson, CEO of The Everywoman’s Company, for example, has come to believe life gets too cluttered, and so she vowed on January 1, 2000, to throwaway one bag of something she doesn’t need every day. When she is traveling, she catches up by throwing a bag away for every day she was gone. If you were at her home and it was 9:30 P.M., you might hear her say, “Oh, I’ve got to throw out my bag before I go to bed.” She will then put a pile of newspapers into a recycling bag, go outside in her garden and pull a bag full of weeds or worn-out flowers, or run to the laundry room and put clothes the family no longer wears in the bag.

Martha’s pattern is an intentional effort to counteract a natural tendency toward clutter. She came to terms with it and adopted a new set of behaviors.

Not all patterns are intentional, and not all beliefs behind them are true or good for us. One way to recognize our damaging patterns is to listen to the questions we ask ourselves. In Martha’s case, a pattern of reckless curiosity took her places she never imagined, with an interesting array of outcomes. She might ask herself, “Why do I always end up in a mess of some kind?” She may not realize the messes were a result of her own patterns of behaviors. Someone watching her might answer, “You end up in messes because you act before you think.”

Monica might have asked, “Why do I find it so hard to enjoy the money I earn?” Someone observing her might have answered, “Because you’re afraid your money won’t be there tomorrow.” Monica’s repeated set of behaviors, or pattern, kept her sidelined from the life she really wanted. She didn’t recognize it for many years. It is quite common to be blind to our patterns until someone or a situation forces us to see them. you are saying you are ready to adjust some, if not all, of your damaging money patterns. What are the questions you ask yourself about money? They may help you uncover patterns of behavior that hold you back financially.

What pattern do you think is holding you back from the level of money management and earnings you desire? Listen carefully to your answer and instincts. You do know the answer. Write it down or file it in your mind, but don’t let the insight go.

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